My life has been highly centered around me. How I look. If people were looking at me. If they wanted me. What I could by. Me.me.me.me.me!
There comes a time when looks fade and your left with something that is a scarred up mess. I.e. me. After I had focused on me for so long I realized that no wanted to put up with my “shitt”.
My husband grew tired of me and at the age of twenty six I had to reconstruct my life. I focused highly on who I was. What I could do for others. This gave me a foundation to RE-build.
The healing process I am referring to is when a person realizes no one is there. That I had become so ridden with vanity I was unbearable. By stripping my soul to its emotional nakedness I began to heal. I remember thinking , “What if I am alone; or die alone?”
The next step was defining my terms. I needed to live alone. I needed bill money. I did not really need another. The object of my terms was solidarity in the sense that I needed to survive.
Now if I come across someone who wants to spend time with me I can embrace them without vanity .
Moral: one cannot love another when they are only focused on themselves; however one must focus on ones sense of self before anyone can relate.