Duct Tape

When I was new to the “drag” scene, I was a terrible looking woman. I remember people coming up and saying, “You look pretty”, when really looking back I know they wanted to say, “You look like the back end of a smudged clown.” Drag queen would come up to me in the night clubs and offer me advice. Looking at their wigs, I wasn’t sure I wanted to look as though I stuck my tongue in a light socket.  Sometimes they looked like they were sucking pennies off the floor of a water fountain; their lips were huge. What I couldn’t understand is where they put the “stuff”. One night as I was visiting a mutual acquaintance who happened to be performing for tips, I saw it. big and impressive, black even. DUCT TAPE! Reaching over I picked up the role. “What do you use this for.” This hairy man of a queen, held his chest together and created cleavage. He told me to wrap it around his chest. Pulling the dress on , he had two impressive bosoms. “I also use it for the heavy artillery.” I knew what he meant and I certainly couldn’t relate. I had to scrape old tape from a counter top and I didn’t want to think about scraping it off of skin. Needless to say, I evolved into a beautiful drag queen. I have had Maybelline’s help. Mac’s help. Loui’s help. Proud to say no help whatsoever from Duct tapeduct

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