Superfine “gay” line

fem  I often wonder about gender role. Masculine. Feminine. Are we one or the other? Can we be both? Why is it when we are by ourselves we never think about it. Alone we are ourselves. No roles, gender or otherwise. Labels are nonexistent in our own world.  Instead we ourselves view others as one, or the other?

There is an app in the gay world called “Grinder”. I do use it frequently. Everyone I have found has a veracious appetite for anything and everything. But there is a fine line. I find myself trying to act a little more masculine so that  maybe just maybe I can have five minutes with a macho. Heaven forbid if they found my feminine traits. This makes me wonder why we mold ourselves into something were not?

So here’s the thing. I wear skinny jeans. I love my but in a pair of skinny jeans. My legs are feminine and shapely. My torso is manly and naturally sculpted. I know people look at my but. I know hot men look at my but. But I am feminine and not masculine. I had someone once say, “I can’t be with you because your like a chick.” What has that got to do with it. I have been with woman and I can only say more power to the straight  men of the world.

This got me thinking. I was raised  by woman so I understand the complexity of the everyday psychological thought process. Does that make me unattractive? The answer is no because I know they look.

The hit television series, “Sex In The City” said it best. “Balls. you can’t live with them; you can’t live without them.” They went on to talk about masculine as not a phallic thing, but as something that is stemming from the copious amounts of testosterone and male glands. They talked about give em’ a tug. That they love being played with. But not too hard because it hurts.

The answer is than VULNERABILITY.

Men have been taught to be a man. Taught to act and do things that portray strength. Forget substance, substance is for whimps. Whimps are girls. Girls are dumb. (This is what I have collectively heard from men i.e. coach and other dads.) So in many ways “Sex In The City” had it right. Balls make men susceptible to vulnerability because with out a moments notice someone could rob them of their portrayal of masculinity.

As for me and my feminine ways. What about them. I know men look. The real joke is that I know their vulnerable and they can’t see it. So for now I will get my daily coffee in Longmont, Co and laugh because a man has second guessed a step for a sway.

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